The "Do Not" Page

The "Do Not" Page has been created to give some very important guidelines to all Internet Widows. We encourage you to read over these guidelines. Memorize them. Remind yourself often of the "Do Not's" when dealing with your significant other. You may even want to write them down. Put the list on the refrigerator, and refer back to them on really bad days. Also sticky notes posted here and there around the house will help you remember not to do these things!

#1) Do Not set the computer on fire!! Or anything else!! This is not a good thing...very bad! It's against the rules (not to mention against the law!). It's that little arson factor. 5-10 years! So fire is a no-no!

#2) Do Not blow up the computer!! And no blowing up anything else!! This would put you into that undesireable category of possessing explosives! 10-15 years ... not good! And by the way, generally explosives cause fire hazards, so bombs are out of the question!

#3) No deadly virus revenge thing! Do not put bad "bugs" in the computer. It's not nice! And besides, it's against the rules, too!

#4) Do Not do anything that would "kill" the computer permenantly! It's counter productive and doesn't solve the problem. The consequences of complete destruction will only make matters worse, thus opening up the option of buying another new computer with lots of new hardware ... ARGH! Think of all the time he will spend with those brand new toys!!! And all that money!!
Don't bury the computer!

#5) Do Not throw things, get mad, or nag him constantly! It will only make him run away every time he see's you!! Make sure that he doesn't look like the man below!

If he does, you need to re-evaluate your approach to getting his attention!

#6) If you see anyhing that looks like this...

You have not read this page enough times!!!

And you have most likely NOT followed the rules!!